Slow

Lately, I've been concerned about the increasingly 'virtual' nature of my communication, especially with my friends. I'm not just afraid of becoming housebound or idle. Rather, I feel as though, in the process of becoming more accessible, I've lost something ill-defined and precious.

Increasingly, my exchanges are partial and incomplete, uncommitted and half-hearted: iChats amongst competing Buddies, conversations curtailed by cellphones. Communions interrupted. Confessions disturbed. Depth sacrificed for breadth. It's an insidious slide into attention-deficit dialogue - one in which no thought is fully developed, no conversational thread completely unspooled. No subtlety realized, no patience applied. Talking with the tilt of a the head. Talking while walking away. Lingering, but with one foot across the technological transom. Cocktail chatter... but without charm, booze and decolletage. Graceless grunting to a toneless ear. ttyl. lol. btw. brb. ic. omg. And I don't know why they dubbed it 'call waiting'; the 'call' never waits...I do.

I play along - churlish not to. After all, it's the new idiom, and look at the benefits! Eternal connectedness, and companionship. Yet it leaves me cold and unsatisfied. More than anything, I am disturbed by my own irritation when, in the flush of multiple MSN , one of my Messengers asks a meditative question - something serious or heartfelt. I feel anger, impatience and resentment. Do they expect me to ignore the bratty bouncing of the icon?

I hate my mental laziness, Beauty - and I hate how I've acquiesced to a distracted notion of intimacy. That's why camping holds such appeal. Or gardening with you. Or Pablum shopping with best friend. There's a 'slow food' movement and a 'slow school' movement. Maybe I need a 'slow friend' movement.

Maybe this explains the rise of blogs. Is it possible that blogs compensate for our lost, unhurried conversations?