Power

You say that you often feel 'powerless'. The irony is that you are exceedingly powerful (smart, funny, sexy, talented, loved, reasonably rich, and gifted with a broadband personality), and it's not that you don't use that power. You do. But you use it to attract things, and then to hold them in stasis (men, opportunity, jobs, attention). This stasis serves only to irritate you because, as you continue to attract these things, they collect around you and demand ever more of your attention. It exhausts you just to hold them in position. Your acquisitions become agitations. Men become problems, opportunities become pressures, attention becomes bother...And then, every so often, you remember to use your power transformatively, to pull in only what you want and need. And then to transform it, or use to it to transform yourself.

You remain the most startling woman I know, Beauty. Too smart to oscillate between egotism and powerlessness. Stop using your power like a child - indiscriminately and unwittingly. Use it like the confident adult you have now become.